


Out of Sight, Out of Mind

by WhaleratSea



Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Bastille - Freeform, BastilleDan, BastilleKyle, Cats, Do not trust these tags, M/M, Please Don't Kill Me, Random - Freeform, Roadtrip, Sad, Second Work Ever from Me, Smut, Young Janna, dyle - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-27 12:59:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8402638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhaleratSea/pseuds/WhaleratSea
Summary: Kyle J. Simmons, a 28 Year-Old man living with his mother, faces his biggest fear that he could've ever imagined. His Dan missing and dead.





	1. Wake Up

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second, ever fanfic I've ever written! Im also still new to all this writer stuff so... Comments, Thoughts and Kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the first chapter before I continue babbling on!

"I don't know even know to begin this..." His voice raspy and groggy after crying so much.

 

"Kyle... Im- I miss you so much... I- I just can't-" Sobbing can be heard from the other side of the line now.

 

Kyle sat alone in his bedroom, listening to his boyfriend's voicemail that he had sent these past few days before he went missing. Flyers, news and announcements had been conducted, hoping to find the 30 year-old man.

 

Kyle tries to call his number once again.

 

**Beep... beep... beep...**

 

" _Hey, sorry, couldn't pick the phone up now. Leave a voicemail and I'll call back as soon as I can_ " Hearing his artificial voice atleast gave Kyle hope. Knowing that he might still be alive out there... somewhere.

 

Kyle laid down in bed, thinking of many possibilities that Dan might end up in.

 

_He hates you for ignoring him_. A thought came up. _Maybe he ran away with another man_. Another thought said.

 

Kyle sighed, thinking how stupid he was for leaving Dan.

 

A knock suddenly came from his bedroom door. "Kyle, honey? Can I come in?"

 

The door opened and his mother walked in, then proceeded to sit on Kyle's bed.

 

"What do you need now?" Kyle said grumpily, who was lying oppositely from her in bed.

 

"Look, I know it's been harsh but... I promise you everything's gonna be fi--" She coaxed him but was immediately cut off.

 

"Okay, Everyone's saying the same thing over and over saying it's fine, but it's not" Kyle spat, now sitting up facing his mother with red eyes.

 

"Gods, Kyle... you- you... okay. You seriously need to get cleaned up, alright?" She added. Now looking over to Kyle's phone. Acknowledging her that he'd been listening to the same voicemail from his boyfriend over and over again.

 

Kyle's mom went over to open his curtains, letting the sun light shine through his bedroom. Revealing all the mess that he hadn't cleaned up. His clothes all on the ground, piled up. His paperwork and some used tissues can be seen too.

 

"Gah!" Kyle exclaimed from the bright sun burning his eyes.

 

"Wha-- what time is it?" Kyle asked, squinting his eyes. It's obvious that he hadn't sleep last night, despite the round, dark circles under his eyes.

 

"Huh, didn't knew you'd be worried bout' that," his mother admitted, walking through the mess Kyle made while trying to avoid herself from falling over.

 

"It's 11 A.M." She continued. Kyle felt ripples going around in himself, it must have been ages since he'd communicated with someone since Dan's disappearance.

 

"Ugh, alright. Just get out of my room already, I don't like you going through my stuff, okay?" He advised. "Well, you better clean them up then" she argued.

 

_Don't challenge her_. A little voice warned in Kyle's mind. He knows arguing won't help but his mother's sudden cockiness could make a man go crazy in any moment.

 

"Alright, I'm joking" she apologized. "But seriously, _everything's_ gonna be alright, you hear me?"

 

"Alright, I hear you," Kyle let out a smile to assure her he'd been listening. "Also, if you have... any news on Dan. Please tell me" he added.

 

"Right. Sure," she said, now walking to the door. "But make sure you clean up your room" she told him once again in a stern face who he grew up with. "Christ, alright mom!"

 

With that, she walked out and closed his door. Leaving Kyle once again in the silence. But at least, now with the sun blaring through his room, he suddenly felt confidence in finding Dan. He'll _make sure_ of it.

 

He sighed and went over to his piles. Paperwork... nope. Underwear... how long has this been here? He continued searching for anything relevant that he thinks is important.

 

A picture of Kittens on a piece of paper suddenly appeared from the pile, one with a drawn mustache especially similar to Dan's.

 

 

_" **This one looks like you** " Dan giggled, his hoody covering his whole face while his hair still messy from the night before._

 

_" **Oh, does it**?" Kyle asked in a cheeky mood. He took the picture along with a marker and drew facial hairs to the cat. Making it look more Dan-like now._

 

_Kyle then looked at him with his brows furrowed. " **What**?" Dan questioned._

 

_" **I know you're hiding something...** " Kyle asked curiously, crossing his arms._

 

_" **What? Me? Oh no no,** " Dan simpered. " **Am I hiding something?** "_

 

_A box suddenly walked by itself from underneath Kyle's bed. A meow came up from it._

 

_" **No. Fucking. wAY!** " Kyle exclaimed and picked up the box happily, like a kid opening his presents on a Christmas morning._

 

_He lifted up the white-furred cat from the box and petted it ferociously._

 

_" **Omg Thank You, Dan!!** " He dropped the cat on top of the bed and went to hug Dan._

 

_" **You're... welcome?** " Dan answered awkwardly. " **You've been telling me about how much you want a cat so... why not**?"_

 

_Kyle pulled back to look at Dan who was smiling coyly at Kyle's childlike behavior. " **Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!** "_

 

_The cat meowed again, trying to gain the two lover's attention. " **What should I name him?** "_

 

_" **I don't know... it's your cat. Name him whatever you want** " Dan scoffed. Kyle picked up the cat and instead he was the one who laid in bed._

 

_" **Hmm... I think I'm gonna name him... wait. Is it a him or a her?** " The bearded one asks. He looked over to underneath the cat and... " **Oh, it's He** " Kyle chuckled._

 

_" **I'll name him Danny then,** " He looked over to Dan who was fairly not impressed by the name he'd given. "It's not relatively related to you, Dan."_

 

_" **I swear, if someone saw you do that to a cat, I don't think they'll even dare to talk with you** " said Dan, who wanders off to pick up the box from the floor and place it on Kyle's messy study table. " **Also, you really should clean up your room, you know?** " Dan went on._

 

_Kyle shot a glare at Dan. Despite by how much complaining Dan does everytime he comes over to His house. Kyle, on the other hand, was playing along with the cat._

 

_The whole day went on and on with Dan, Kyle and and their new cat, Danny babbling and meowing to each other._

 

_" **Welcome to your new home, Danny** " Kyle mumbled to the cat_.

 

 

Memories. Kyle thought. He picked up the picture and place it properly on his table. He sighed, feeling emotionally depressed of how much he had missed Dan. _Im gonna find you, Dan_. Kyle muttered under his breath.

 

After completely satisfied with his new cleaned up room - dirty Clothes in the basket, Papers properly piled up, and rubbish in the bin - he went out of his room along with his phone in his hands.

 

The first place he went to was the kitchen. He was immediately greeted by his mother who was washing the dishes from breakfast.

 

"Any food left? Tea and Biscuits would be great too" Kyle asked her while pulling a chair to sit down at the kitchen table.

 

"I told you to wake up early last night," she nagged. "So that we all can have breakfast together. Which of course, you didn't"

 

"Sorry... I guess? I know Im such a drag, I mean, I can't blame myself knowing what happened to my boyfriend. But I really don't wanna talk about that now" He sighed.

 

"So do we have any food left?" Kyle asked her one more time. She finished her dishwashing work and went to sip her tea that she'd left by the table since the moment she had pour it into the cup.

 

"No, there isn't any left. There's fast noodles though if you're diligent enough to cook for yourself. But Im gonna out to buy some other foods after this, so anything you want?" She offered him.

 

Kyle never liked the packet noodles, he would complain that they taste like plastic flour dipped in a hot soup. Though Dan loved them a lot.

 

"I think you can get some snacks I suppose. Not really that hungry anyways" He suggested.

 

"Alright!," His mother immediately finished her tea and drop her cup into the sink. "If there's anything else you want, just call me, alright?" His mother said while getting her sweater from her room.

 

Kyle checked his phone. As the usual, there wasn't any relevant notification or news on Dan. Just a few new likes on his Post about Dan's news, Carrier Service notifying him that he'd used 90% of his data and that's pretty much it.

 

As tired as hearing the same thing from everyone everyday - We're gonna find him. It's gonna be fine. Everything's alright - He got up from his chair and went inside his bedroom when his mom bawled at him.

 

"Kyle! Someone's here to meet you!" _Oh God, Could this be about Dan?_

 

He immediately raced down the staircase and found his mother talking to someone he doesn't recognize.

 

"Kyle! There you are. This is Mr. Smith... Mr. Smith this is my son" The man looked at Kyle. _He looks exactly like Dan. But... older and grumpier._

 

"Ah, I see that you are my son's boyfriend" Kyle nodded. "I came here to find you because..." he stuttered before spilling the words that only requires a second to change Kyle's whole life.

 

"We... _think_ we might have found him"


	2. Lost in Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle meets up with his old friend with a bad news coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I know I was absent for a few days but I had lots of stuff to do and of course, had to write out this chapter so yeah, and bear with me that this part is sort of badly written so be ready for cringeworthy moments.
> 
> Anyways, here it is, the chapter you've all been waiting for!

_I knew it. I fucking knew it. Dan IS alive... somehow though._

 

 

"Kyle!" Kyle's mother bawled out, hustling over towards him at the other side of the road who was just opening the door to Mr. Smith's car.

 

 

"What?!" Kyle replied while the other man was turning his keys to turn on his 80's Volkswagen Golf GTI car. The car that Dan had secretly used to drive around with Kyle whenever they felt bored.

 

 

"You forgot your sweater!" Answered his mother, now handling over the dark grey cloth to Kyle. It wasn't _actually_ Kyle's, but Dan's who had forgotten it in Kyle's bedroom _long_ time ago.

 

 

"Christ, Mom! I told you, It's just the cold! It's nothing a 28 Year-Old can't handle!" Kyle argued. Mr. Smith, on the other hand, was already inside his car, looking over the two of them arguing from his side-mirror in the cool, wet afternoon London streets.

 

 

"I know you hate the cold, so it's best that you bring it just incase if you plan to stay over with your friend there in the hospital" His mother replied. "Which, you know, it's bloody cold" She added with a chuckle. Kyle then took the sweater and folded it between his arms, now entering the car and closed its doors, looking up to his mother from the window.

 

 

They all agreed to visit Dan in the hospital, whose condition is still unknown, despite that Mr. Smith had just received the news and thought it was best to pick up his son's boyfriend first. He also didn't seem to mind giving Kyle a lift, knowing the fact that the 28 Year-Old doesn't know how to drive.

 

 

"There ya' go... your warm sweater, right there with you all through the day" She said in a manner that made Kyle cringe, feeling like a child. Not saying that he _isn't_ one... but still.

 

 

On the other side of things, Ms. Simmons had ever implied her son to take driving lessons before, who instead doesn't seem to have any interests since his boyfriend was always there to happily bring Kyle around.

 

 

"Alright, alright. Can you... just go? You're treating me like I'm sort of a little child now" Kyle blurted. "I am? Can't blame the fact that you're my _only_ child" she replied coldly, giving Kyle a glare and crossing her arms.

 

 

"oH MY GOD, can you two just get this thing over with!?" Mr. Smith bawled out, then sighing and closing his windows after letting fresh air in. He signals Kyle's mother to hurry up with a hand gesture that Kyle knew he had been using since the first moment they met 5 years ago.

 

 

"Alright, sorry Kyle honey" Kyle's mother affirmed, giving a peck on her son's cheeks before proceeding to walk away, leaving both Kyle and his so called father in-law alone.

 

 

They soon enough drove away from the neighborhood after making sure Kyle's mother had entered the house safely, with her completely forgetting to buy Food Supplies for Kyle.

 

 

It's not as if He was hungry anymore anyways.

 

 

"So... how are you all this while?" Mr. Smith questioned, keeping his eyes on the road. _How am I all this while? What is this? A Trap_?

 

 

"Good, it's all been good" Kyle answered, making Mr. Smith fret slightly. Not knowing any particular reasons why or what caused him to feel like that.

 

 

"Ah, I see... that's great then" He spoke, turning around to look at Kyle who smiled coyly at the situation. _Awkward_. The old man smiled back and continued to drive in silence the whole way to the hospital.

 

 

Out of all these years he and Dan had been together, he'd never felt more uncomfortable being around with Mr. Smith.

 

 

It's probably because the fact that the couple had never _actually_ talked about the relationship they were having with the old man, who only agreed to the idea of them being with each other and nothing else.

 

 

Of course, when Dan was still around, he's also the one who was always in the centre of attention - making lame jokes and talking about anything he likes, including one time when he talked about what he did in the bathroom when he saw a used condom - who decided to pick it up and show it to Kyle. With that being said, there was almost never an awkward situation between Kyle and Mr. Smith.

 

 

Trying to avoid further conversations, Kyle unlocked his phone and opened the Photos Gallery, trying to find something else that can distract him for a moment.

 

 

He scrolled through past almost nothing other than pictures of Him and Dan during last year's Christmas. Whom where they celebrated at Dan's house. _His smile. His blue eyes. His long, messy hair. Simply... him._

 

 

_Christmas. Snow all over the place. Blinking lights was almost everywhere in the house - on the window pane, on top of the TV, almost on any wall and ceiling part that was in Dan's house._

 

 

_" **Come on!** " Dan pulled Kyle hastily into his house. Kyle, who discreetly walked over the living room that was full of yet unknown members of the Smith family was trying to avoid his head tangled in the lights._

 

 

_" **Dan... where are you taki--** " Kyle was cut off immediately by a wet kiss at the end of the bedroom hallway. They didn't seem to care what was going on, not to say that they had been drinking the whole time too._

 

 

_Touching... kissing... desperation. Kyle's mind was literally seeing stars now._

 

 

_Dan groped Kyle's bulge that was forming in his pants, making his body shock in amusement. " **Bedroom. Now** "_

 

 

_With that, they continued kissing on their way into Dan's bedroom. Stumbling over almost everything until they hit the corner of the bed, falling on top of each other._

 

 

_" **Dan, this- this is seriously-- You're taking this too fa--** " Kyle's words stuttered as Dan was kissing Kyle's bare chest after lifting and taking off his flannel shirt, feeling ticklish as Dan's stubble wiped around them, ending up with him moaning. " **Shhhhh!!** "_

 

 

_Kyle replied to the gesture by kissing and massaging the bulge that was forming too on the older man's pants. " **Looks like someone's keen, eh?** " Dan teased hungrily at Kyle, who was simpering and blushing from the heat._

 

 

_They continued kissing, almost close to taking off their pants until at one point the door opened. " **Shit!** "_

 

 

_" **We- We're in here!** " Dan shouted over to the small figurine that was formed by a dim light from the hallway. Kyle laid quietly in bed, trying not to make any sounds to avoid further suspicion of what the two lovers were doing._

 

 

_" **Uncle Dang?** " It was Dan's niece, Janna. She still couldn't pronounce Dan's name properly judging that she's still a 4 Year-Old. Though, everyone seems to appreciate the hilarity and cuteness plus her sassy attitude everytime she communicates with anyone._

 

 

_Kyle continued to keep quiet, holding his laugh at the conversation that his boyfriend was having with his niece._

 

 

_" **Oh, Jan-- Janna, what's the matter?** " Dan asked, slightly feeling himself heating up in the dark room too._

 

 

_" **Gwendpa told me to call you guys** " She began, still pronouncing the words wrongly. " **For dinner** "_

 

 

_Dinner? Right. Dinner... " **Alright! We'll be there in a minute!** "_

 

 

_" **Awkay, Dang!** " She answered and skipped away joyfully towards whoever was calling her from downstairs, not knowing that her uncle is drunkly half asleep._

 

 

_" **I told you now isn't the time** " Kyle spoke up from the blankets he was covered in, shuffling around to Sit properly facing Dan._

 

 

_" **Well? Whose idea was it?** " Dan tempted, speaking in a dry voice. Kyle sat up quietly as he sees Dan under low light, slowly leaning back and forth and finally falling to the bed from the alcohol._

 

 

_" **Look, we were both drunk okay, there's no need for pointing fingers now, you bloke** " Kyle replied, now stood up from bed while Dan continued to lie down, not answering._

 

 

_" **Mate, are you gonna have dinner or not?** " Kyle asked while properly straightening his clothes from what Dan had done to them, looking over to his boyfriend in bed, eyes half closed. "Christ, don't tell me you're sleeping now..."_

 

 

_Dan suddenly took a deep breath - probably sighing - and told Kyle to wake him up later after Dinner. Though there isn't any particular reason for him to do so since everyone would be asleep by then._

 

 

_Kyle scooted over to turn on the lights of Dan's bedroom. He flicked the switch on and felt his heart warmed upon realizing that the room was so, so much like Dan. Physically speaking._

 

 

_There were posters of Films and Random Bands everywhere - few that includes the infamous Evil Dead film poster and also a huge piece of the Madchester band from the 90's._

 

 

_Though there was one that caught Kyle's eye - the Twin Peaks poster, properly posted on the wall better than the rest. Telling Kyle's mind that Dan loves the show equally as how much he loves Kyle._

 

 

_Though the moment didn't last forever when Dan grunted and snorting suddenly in his sleep, making Kyle jump from a sudden sound in the silence. Dan was lying in a weird position that made it look uncomfortable to Kyle. So he went over to Dan and properly repositioned his boyfriend - head properly rested on the pillow, arms wrapping the bolster and foot laid accordingly._

 

_Dan's hair on the other hand was slightly blocking his nostrils, making him hard to breath despite the grunt he made earlier. Kyle once again went over, now close to his face, and combed away the sleeping man's hair away._

 

 

_" **I... know that's you Kyle...** " Dan said groggily from lack of sleep and drunkenness._

 

 

_" **Who else would it be?** " Kyle replied, smiling at Dan's adorable, sleepy face. Huffing away Dan's long hair away that still ends up landing on his nostrils._

 

 

_" **I don't know... could be my mom, I guess?** " Dan must've been so drunk that he thinks his Mother is still here, who apparently had died from cancer a few years ago. The long, sad years before Dan met Kyle. "Hey, maybe you could be my new mom!"_

 

 

_" **Just go back to sleep, Dan** " Kyle bleated. " **You're drunk** "_

 

 

_" **Okay... but can I tell you something first?** " Dan said, simpering while his eyes still closed._

 

 

_" **What is it?** " Kyle questioned as he caressed his boyfriend's soft face to sleep._

 

 

_" **I love you** " Dan finally said, lazily turning his head away from Kyle._

 

 

_" **I love you too** " Kyle replied, watching his boyfriend slowly beginning to doze away. Away to a place where only dreams could become reality._

 

 

_Finally satisfied, Kyle planted a kiss on Dan's forehead, then stood up, heading towards the door of the bedroom. He gave the moment a final look, trying to burn the beautiful moment into his mind - snows quietly trickled down outside, sounds of his soon-to-be family talking on the other side of the house, and of course, his Dan comfortably sleeping in bed._

 

 

_And just like that, Kyle flicked off the lights, leaving Dan in the darkness, sleeping peacefully._

 

 

_" **Good Night, love** "_

 

 

"Alright!" Mr. Smith exclaimed, snapping Kyle away from his memories. Kyle looked out of the window and instantly jumped out of his seats while taking everything that he had brought for the trip, or most importantly, Dan's sweater. _The Hospital._

 

 

"We're here!" He added on, then exiting his car and instantly closing the doors. Kyle does the same and then immediately trailed along with Mr. Smith entering the building.

 

 

"Also, I know just how exited, or maybe scared, you are but, just remember not to do anything to Dan" the older man said, slightly in a stern tone. Kyle looked at him with a worried look. _Seriously, is he angry with me now?_

 

 

"Well... _yet_ " He continued jokingly. They walked along the empty hospital, hearing their footsteps echo through the silent building corridors. Few nurses were seen moving in and out of the office, while some others were seen treating patients in the ward.

 

 

There was barely anyone here, judging that it was a Private Hospital. Which the Smith family could afford, obviously.

 

 

Kyle counted how many rooms they had passed until they reached Dans'. _121... 122... 123... 12-_

 

 

He was immediately stopped when Mr. Smith hold onto his arms, implying that they had reached Dan's ward.

 

 

_Ward 124_.

 

 

Kyle looked and saw around 6 people, sitting on the white, dull hospital seats. They were all, of course, the Smith family, which some of who he recognizes. Janna was there, sitting next to her mother, seemingly to be less joyful as ever.

 

 

_This is it... Relax... Relax... Gods, Kyle. RELAX_.

 

 

A doctor walked out of the ward, calling Mr. Smith to a corner of the hallway they were in, probably discussing about Dan's condition. Kyle looked into the ward and saw _him_ \- leaning against the hospital bed frame, eyes closed, head raised looking above, quietly.

 

 

Janna suddenly got up from her chair and went over to Kyle, tugging his slender hands. He looked down smiled at her.

 

 

"Kyle" She beamed upon Kyle's face as he carried her, like a child and her father.

 

 

"Yes, Janna?" Kyle replied, looking over to her blue eyes, almost... _very_ like Dan's.

 

 

"I miss you" She answered, looking over to Kyle who was watching Dan over the glass of the ward room.

 

 

"I know. I miss you too"

 

 

"Dan _doesn't_ " she blurted, almost breaking Kyle's fragile heart.

 

 

"What do you mean?" Kyle questioned anxiously, now turning to look at Janna.

 

 

"I mean... The doctors said..." she stuttered. "The doctors said that he has amnesia"

 

 

Gasping and utterly shocked, Kyle couldn't believe upon hearing the words that was coming out of the 4 Year-Old. He put her down and squatted in front of her, holding her shoulders.

 

 

Slowly... he let the words sink into him. _Amnesia... Dan should remember anything right? I mean, how bad can it be? It's only been Months before he went missing..._

 

 

"He doesn't remember anything, if you didn't know what that meant" Janna spoke again, acting like a person 5 times older than her age, calming and cooing Kyle as if he doesn't understand the words she was saying.

 

 

Janna's mother, or Dan's cousin - Dolores Smith - saw that Kyle and her daughter were having a conversation and thought it was best, if she was the one talking to Kyle. Despite that he must be feeling really confused now.

 

 

Janna was told by her to sit back down at the chair while Kyle instantly stood up to look at her, still in disbelief.

 

 

"Hey" She began, resting her hand on Kyle's back. "Just wanted to... tell you that you can enter and talk to _him_ if you want"

 

 

"Really? I thought... that Janna said the doctors declared he had..." Kyle asserted, looking back inside the ward. Thinking the many outcomes of Dan's situation.

 

 

"Amnesia, yes. They're sort of... done treating that. And there was nothing that they could do" She said softly, but still loud enough for Kyle to hear. "Now, they only need people to communicate with him, just to see if it helps him... _remember_ anything" she replied. "Especially you"

 

 

Kyle replied with a small smile as Dolores gave him a pat on the back, letting him enter the room.

 

 

Everything then started to feel cold, though the room temperature remained the same. Kyle took out Dan's sweater and put it on. _Mom was right_.

 

 

His footsteps grew louder as he entered the ward. It was so quiet that his watch's ticking can be heard too. Though the sound of the heartbeat monitor beating was the only thing that kept the room _alive_. Other than a man lying tiredly and cold in the bed, breathing silently.

 

 

Kyle pulled a white, plastic chair and place it beside Dan's bed. Now sitting on it, hoping in his mind that Dan remembers him. _This is it, Kyle. The moment you've been waiting for all these months._

 

 

"Hey" Dan spoke, voice raspy as the one Kyle heard in the voicemail, opening his eyes to look at his long forgotten boyfriend. Completely making Kyle's thoughts silent.

 

 

"He- Hi" Kyle stuttered. "How- how... are you?"

 

 

"Good. I guess?" Dan replied with a smile on his face. "I don't really remember, or know... actually"

 

 

"Oh, that's... alright" Kyle said with disappointment.

 

 

The words that everyone said must've somehow came true. Dan does have amnesia, at least, that's what Kyle thought. Making him worry along with sadness.

 

 

"Do you... know who I am..?"

 

 

"I don't think so" Dan answered immediately, not knowing that the words he spoke hurt his friend.

 

 

Dan turn his gaze away from Kyle, to the window, where everyone was watching the two of them talking - Janna in Dolores's arms, standing. While the rest were looking at them from behind.

 

 

"Why are they looking at us like that?" Dan questioned, furrowing his brows to look at Kyle.

 

 

"Oh, they're just... concerned" Kyle replied, softly holding Dan's hand with tubes connected to it from the IV stand. "Concerned about you"

 

 

Dan's hands trembled as he tried to sit up properly. It hurt Kyle to see his friend like this, to see that everything changed. The 5 Years that they had spent together, Gone in a matter of seconds.

 

 

"You- you shouldn't move a lot" Kyle advised as he stood up, trying to reposition Dan.

 

 

"It's- I can... lift myself" Dan spoke as he lift his head to let Kyle's hand carry him.

 

 

"There, better?" Kyle asked while he checked around to make sure Dan was in a comfortable position.

 

 

"Yeah, thanks... whatever your name is. I mean, sorry... if I'd forgotten it"

 

 

"It's Kyle"

 

 

"Kyle..? Kyle Jonathan Simmons?" Dan questioned, his eyes wide as memories started to fill in his mind. _Christmas..._

 

 

"Dan... Yo- you remember?" _Janna_...

 

 

"Wait, Is... that my sweater you're wearing?" _Uncle..._

 

 

"Hold on, Dan. Do you remember anything else?" _The cat photo..._

 

 

"I- I'll call the others" _Lovers_.

 

 

Dan screamed as his mind started to open up, remembering all his past. While Kyle looked at him with worry that if Dan knew, he wouldn't forgive him for what he had done.

 

 

The doctors rushed in as they went to check on Dan, his nose now bleeding. The rest did the same as they pushed Kyle away to look at Dan. While the man in bed stared at Kyle with his eyes now squinting, pain surging through his brain and to his nerves.

 

 

"Kyle!! Wai-- agh!!" Dan shouted as Kyle went out, running off somewhere Dan doesn't know while his mind burns from the excruciating pain. The rest saw and left the tall man leave, though surely he'll come back sooner or later.

 

 

_He'll never forgive you. Never..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that was... idk honestly, dramatic I guess?
> 
> Anyway, I'd like to acknowledge you guys that Im putting my other fic 'FEELINGS' on hold to continue this one, as I think it's more enjoyable to write honestly.
> 
> But if you still want me to continue the other one, please let me know in the comments and I'll update it as soon as I can.
> 
> Once again, sorry for not updating my stories for quite a while.
> 
> One more thing, please don't forget to leave Kudos and Comments to help me out, thanks!
> 
> (And I realize that there's 2 Author End notes here but I seriously don't know how to fix that, so it's best that you guys just stick to the top ones everytime you read a new chapter, alright. See you in Chapter 3!!)


	3. Hocus Conscious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle learns an unlikely subject about Dan ; Dolores and Kyle discovers something the doctors haven't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for updating a day late cus of school shits so yeah. Other than that, Im just gonna warn you guys that this chapter is basically... bunch of jumbled up situations with humor so that's it actually. Enjoy!!

The restroom was dark, lit up by only a pair of fluorescent lightbulbs that was probably ever changed once in a year. Water from tap can be heard dripping into the ceramic sink. Though there was another sound in one of the stalls, sounds of someone shuffling inside.

 

 

Kyle sat uncomfortably on the white, dull plastic toilet seat, while Dans' jacket is tied around his waist - too tired to give a single shit about the world right now. He pinched his temples to quell the train of thoughts forming inside his brain.

 

 

_Why the fuck did you leave the ward?_ He sighs, close to breaking down. _You're making Dan feel much worse than he is now, you know?_ His thoughts spoke bitterly inside his mind, now making him sob completely.

 

 

All the emotions he bottled up inside himself started spilling out. After all this while, It was finally time to let them go - the painful but happy memories of Him and Dan, young and bold. All flushed down inside the empty void in his own heart.

 

 

He then hears someone entering the restroom, slowly getting closer to his stall. A knock came up on his door the following second after the footsteps stop, making him jump and instantly snorting his nose after crying, wiping his tears away too.

 

 

Kyle swore this is the third time someone knocked on his stall, as if there was no other ones to be used. Just because his one was close to the exit doesn't mean it was empty, as it usually does in London.

 

 

The person didn't spoke, only its' foot were seen shuffling around, inching away slowly from the stall as it knew it was occupied. Kyle dared himself to peek under the plastic walls - trying to get a closer look to see who it was wearing flip flops - he slowly lowers his head down, and was suddenly greeted by a stubbled mans' face.

 

 

"Ahh!!" They both screamed in terror. Kyle stumbled, falling out of his seats but instantly stood up, unlocking his stall and hustled out as he knew the person he saw must've fallen to the ground from shock too.

 

 

He crouched next to the man on the floor and immediately carried him, helping him to stand as his body trembled from the fall.

 

 

"Oh God! Im so sorry, Mister! I didn't see you the--" though Kyles' words were immediately stopped when he realized who the 'Mister' was.

 

 

"Jesus, Kyle! Get a hold of yourself!" The man exclaimed, smiling at Kyle's childlike hilarity who was brushing off dirty scrubs from the mans' hospital gown. "It's me, Dan!"

 

 

Kyle immediately pulled back his hands, wiping them on his jeans as he realized that the man was his own boyfriend. "Dan..? Wha- what are you doing here? Aren't you suppose to be resting?"

 

 

Dan huffed his hair away that was blocking his eyes as he tried to focus on Kyle. "I- What am I doing here? What are you doing here? I saw you ran out of the ward and everyone went looking for you!

 

 

Dan bawled out, making few nurses walking by to look at them two inside the toilet, also waking Kyle completely from his thoughts that was fogging his mind. _How long have I been here_?

 

 

"I- I don't know... why I did that actually, I had some business to do by myself, which is best if you don't know" _Jesus Kyle, stop being such a pessimist._ "And you?"

 

 

Kyle then turns down to look at his watch and almost felt like slapping himself for being such an obvious loner. _2 Hours, You've spent 2 fucking hours in the toilet_. Dan didn't answer Kyles' question, instead he was the one asking more than answering.

 

 

"Doing your business? For 2 straight hours?? What on heavens did you do? Gave birth to a child, eh?" Dan cackled, looking at Kyle's dumbfounded face who was almost blushing too.

 

 

Dan conversed as if he was high on drugs, and the thing that made Kyle even more confused is that, how did Dan speak as if he remembered everything? And who on Earth would let a sick man take drugs anyways? Illegal ones, to be specific.

 

 

_Guess the effects of the dose hadn't fade yet,_ Kyle thought.

 

 

"Dan... yo- you're high" Kyle replied, still not answering Dans' million dollar questions.

 

 

"I'm _High_?" Dan chuckled upon hearing Kyle's response.

 

 

" **Kyle** , we're in public, a hospital. A private hospital. What makes you think I'm high?" Dan snapped at the tall man who tried to push him out. Out of the toilet and to the people in charge of allowing him to wander around the hospital, especially to a bathroom.

 

 

"Hey, hey! Are you even listening? Where are you taking me?"

 

 

"To your family"

 

 

"But you are my family" Dan bleated, smiling coyly at Kyle's face who only scoffed at his boyfriends' cliché reply. The two of them ended up holding hands, trailing along the empty hallway to wherever they were going. "I'm... just gonna pretend you didn't say that" Kyle added.

 

 

The two mens continued their way to the ward with the older one blurting words out, making people look at them like maniacs. Well, lover maniacs. Kyle never actually liked the term ' _lovers_ ' to be used on them, but almost everyone in his life used it on against him and Dan that he got so used to it.

 

 

They finally reached Dan's ward when Dolores was the first to beam upon Kyle's face. Despite that she and almost everyone else had been searching for him for almost hours.

 

 

Her smile instantly turned into a frown when Kyle accidentally pushed Dan harshly, making him fall to the ground once again. "Ooowwff!"

 

 

"Dan!" She got up from her chair and ran towards him, immediately pulling him up while Kyle looked with worry in his face. Worried that he must had hurt him worser than before this time.

 

 

"Kyle, what did you do that for?"

 

 

"Christ, Im sorry!" Dan looked up to his boyfriend with his brows furrowed, implying that Kyle had made Him fall twice and trying to make him feel even worse with his lovers' puppy eyes glaring through his guilty soul.

 

 

"Jeez, Again, I mean"

 

 

"Again? Wait, Dan? Did Kyle made you fall just now too?"

 

 

"Yes! I mean... sort of"

 

 

"Sort... of? What the hell is going on?"

 

 

"We peeked on each other in the bathroom is what was going on!"

 

 

"What the hell?!" Dolores gasped, looking at her own cousin and Kyle with disgust, almost shouting once again at them.

 

 

"Can you three shut your mouths up?! People are trying to rest here!" Bawled a nurse after poking her head out from a ward, looking at the three adults with stern eyes.

 

 

"We're sorry!" Dolores replied quickly, then looking back to the lovers with Dan now standing up properly, still with slight disgust on her face.

 

 

"God, what mess have we even done" She sighs, putting her hand up to her head. Completely agonized with the same, Dan and Kyle shit since the first time she saw the two of them dating, reminding her of all the memories the three of them had gone through since 5 Years ago. If only Dan remembers though, well, maybe he does partly since he's still high right now.

 

 

"We need to talk" she spoke, after thinking for a while before breaking the silence between the three of them. "Alright" Dan and Kyle replied in unison, making them chuckle at each other.

 

 

This is probably going to be one of her family talks she would normally give when someone was causing much trouble, but in this case, she was one of those troubles.

 

 

Dolores picked her Gucci handbag up from the chair she sat before and signaled the two maniacs over with a gesture towards the elevator down the corridor. The same hand gesture Mr. Smith had used against Kyle's mother earlier. Like child, like father.

 

 

"Where are we going?" Kyle questioned, entering the elevator with Dan limping around to the back of him, while Dolores pressed the 'G' button with her phone on her other hand, indicating that they're going to the ground floor of the hospital.

 

 

Dolores then shot a glare at Kyle. "Ya' think?" She answered sarcastically, furrowing her brows while continuing to scroll something on her phone that Kyle couldn't see. The same, old Dolores Kyle knew he met since the first time after being together with Dan.

 

 

It was obviously not other than the cafeteria they were heading for, a fine place to have a talk in the now-warm afternoon atmosphere. _Of course_.

 

 

They once again straggled along beside each other on the corridor of the hospital, with Dan's priceless face looking at everything like a newborn child. He'd mumble words like "wow" or "amazing" under his breath as much as he could, not to rudely say that he's been behaving like a completely mental person.

 

 

When they finally reached the cafeteria, the three of them sat around on a small, square table right on the corner of the walls - Dan infront of Kyle and Dolores on the side. There weren't much people around the cafeteria, but it was just enough to kill the silence that would form quickly if lesser were here.

 

 

A huge glass pane was built on the side of the room, making the afternoon sunlight blare through the whole cafeteria, resulting Dan and some other people's eyes to squint.

 

 

"Oh, forgot about these" Dolores dug into her bag and took out a turtleshell Sunglasses. "The doctors said you need to wear these and avoid the Sunlight as much as possible, judging that you just woke up from a coma without opening those precious goddamn eyes, so here"

 

 

She then handed over the glasses to Dan, who instantly wore it and made Kyle feel butterflies and flowers growing in his stomach. _Oh my God, he's so adorable wearing those._

 

 

"You're blushing" Dan suddenly snapped Kyle from his thoughts.

 

 

"I am?"

 

 

"Yeah, anything interesting you'd like to share with me, Simmons?"

 

 

"No, no. Nothing" his blush unmistakably turned into a grin, making Dan look more suspicious at him. Dan can't afford knowing about this.

 

 

"That doesn't look like nothing... hold on, you like these glasses on me, do you? Admit it"

 

 

"What? No! Im... okay fine, yes" Kyle answered in defeat, making his chest breath slightly easier despite he had taken some dirty weight off it. Well, that didn't go according to plan.

 

 

"Ah, I knew it! Messy hairs and Turtleshell glasses, noted" Dan winked at Kyle, making him blush even further.

 

 

Dan somehow managed to remember most parts about Kyles' favorite things about him, but not about his past memories or anything related to his family - other than the love he has for Kyle and that's it.

 

 

Kyle, on the other hand, had always loved Dan wearing glasses - simply making him look dorky when reading a book. Or just when he's wearing scarfs during winter, making him look fluffy with his stubble scruffily brushing against them.

 

 

It just makes Kyle go crazy - wanting to claim those luscious lips, those blue eyes, the nice curve behind his back that he just wants to run his tongue over, and everything - calling Dan his, reliving the memories he'd missed after all these months.

 

 

Dolores puts her phone down after she'd seemed satisfied replying and opening notifications from whoever they were, but was greeted by a scene of blood drips on the table, making her stomach churn, completely spoiling her mood for lunch.

 

 

"Dan..?" Dolores questioned him, making his gaze turn away from Kyle. "Yo- your nose is bleeding"

 

 

"Oh God, not again" Kyle asserted, who got lost into Dan's glassy blue eyes that only now he realized that Dans' nose started bleeding too.

 

 

"Just go to the restroom, will you?" Dolores advised her cousin, causing him to take his glasses off and stand up from his chair, covering his nostrils with his hand to avoid more blood from dripping. "I'll go with you" Kyle sorted him, making him stop halfway from walking.

 

 

"No, it's fine, I'll be fine. Just wait here and I'll be back in a minute!" He said joyfully and a cheery mood in his voice. Kyle took Dans' glasses in his hands, holding them like Dan's whole life depended on it.

 

 

With that, Dan hustled out and turned into a corner, instantly going out of sight, making Kyle and Dolores sit in a rather comfortable silence.

 

 

Not in a weird, comfortable sort of way, but in a way how you'd feel simply when you're there with your family, especially times during Thanksgiving, or Christmas Eve, or Halloween if that's the type of thing they had time for.

 

 

Kyle thought, and thought. Thinking about his own family - what is his mother doing now? Is she worrying about him? Is she stressed out like how his Dad had been once? Family... Kyle was immediately reminded of the Smith's who were here hours earlier.

 

 

"Where are the rest? Janna? Your dad?"

 

 

"Oh, they all went home, Janna followed my dad. They told me to meet up later after I'm done settling with things here"

 

 

"Ah, I see. Was starting to wonder where all of them could've had went" Dolores looked at Kyle with her tongue sticking out, reminding and implying him that he was the one who spent hours in the toilet, wasting and using his time for the wrong things - wrong, if that's a term Kyle would like to use.

 

 

"So anyways... what is that thing you wanna talk about?"

 

 

"Oh right, forgot about that" she apologized for being forgetful again, taking out some tissues from her bag and gave it to Kyle for him to wipe his boyfriend's dirty mess.

 

 

"It's about Dan, actually" _Great. More bad news then._

 

 

"Uhuh, go on" Kyle replied, looking down on the table making sure there wasn't any other stains left from the blood.

 

 

"The doctors said that he still needs time to recover from amnesia - I mean, I know we all can see he seems to be fine now but his brain still has some internal bleeding - from some reasons the Doctors couldn't clarify" she rambled about, while Kyle watched her mouth babbling nonsense that he thinks won't be useful for him.

 

 

"...which means he'll have to stay here for atleast another month" Kyle listened thoughtfully as he crumpled some used tissued from wiping, pushing them aside to the corner of the table.

 

 

"Wow" Kyle exclaimed, suddenly reminded of the nights he spent together alone with Dan, the nights when they were entering their 3rd Year Together, still in the cold, wintery January where they spent at Kyle's house. "I mean, That's a long time for a person in that condition"

 

 

"Yeah, it is" she remarked. "That means he needs someone he's familiar with to stay with him for that period of time, but I guess I don't have to find anyone else since that 'someone' is right here speaking to me"

 

 

"Me? No- no. Im... I don't think he's familiar with me, yet. He may just be confused, probably high and... yeah"

 

 

"High? You're kidding, right?" She spoke in a tone that sounded exactly like Dans' earlier. "You're the only person who he seems to mostly recognize, why wouldn't you be his caretaker for a while? You're his boyfriend, you should know everything about him"

 

 

"What do you mean?"

 

 

"I mean that he still remembers" She explained carefully, while Kyle brushed his mustache using his fingers as he usually would if he's anxious or interested. Or both at the same time. "He remembers who you are" she continued while Kyle kept silent.

 

 

"Well, I myself, might actually consider him just now, being high. Explaining how he seems to be more less in pain in talking things out from his mind, but despite that, the dose had seemed to ran out already, making him hard to think - remembering his memories, resulting his nose to bleed from the blood pressure rising in himself" Kyle listened with his mouth hanging open, trying to process and understand the foreign words Dolores was conversing with him.

 

 

"Umm... english please?"

 

 

"Christ, Kyle... It simply means that Dan could only remember by only being high or drunk. Don't you get it?" She spoke in a low voice, making sure no one else hears her malevolent sentence.

 

 

"Well, yeah, yeah. Wait, what? So you're telling me he's like a weapon to remember stuff?"

 

 

"Yeah, I guess so... but basically Dan needs to drink - or take pills if necessary - to remember anything else"

 

 

"That doesn't make any fucking sense!"

 

 

"It does, you'll see. Wait till' he comes back soon"

 

 

Sure enough after quite some time, Dolores was right. Dan came back, led by another nurse who must've thought he got lost on the way back to the cafeteria. Dan was silent than usual, probably now sobering up from the dose, his eyes gazing around the still familiar faces floating through his beautiful, forgetful mind.

 

 

This is probably the sad reality Kyle has to face for the next One upcoming month. _He doesn't remember, but he surely won't forgive you as well._

 

 

Kyle made sure Dan wasn't paying attention to him and Dolores before he asked her a question that made Kyle sure he hadn't been dreaming these past few minutes when they were talking.

 

 

"So are we just gonna pretend like nothing happened? Or use him like a weapon by making him drunk to remember stuff?"

 

 

"Well, it's the only way to make him remember, is it?"

 

 

Kyle nod with bits of anxiety, knowing that feeding his boyfriend pills and alcohols isn't what he planned on doing. He'd rather spent a month with a completely empty Dan. Atleast taking the first step safely, and slowly helping him to remember whatever memory he had lost due to the fight and coma he'd experience. Rather than letting him get high and drunk, risking his own life from overdose.

 

 

But on one hand, Dolores is right for most parts - Kyle couldn't live for another moment spending his time with a man who he spent for almost his life with, completely empty brained from the 5 Years they'd spent, just gone like that.

 

 

"No" a voice crept to their ears from the side, turning their heads to look at Dan with an exasperated face.

 

 

"No. I can do it, I'll try to remember as much as I could. Even if it takes my whole life, or nights full of sex - Im talking to you Kyle - then I'm gonna have to take the rough road"

 

 

"No, Dan. That's too risky! Im- I'm not affording to lose you again"

 

 

"You won't, I promise" Dan replied, his eyes now blinking slowly and groggily, telling Kyle that the effects are wearing off already.

 

 

"But... Dolores? What about that 1 month thing?"

 

 

"Yeah, Dan. The doctors won't release you until you're here for another month prior. But since your friend here decides that he would take the pledge to take care of you, then I suppose it'll be okay. But no leaving the hospital"

 

 

"I don't care, as long as Kyle is with me, then I'm good" Dan reassured her, simpering at Kyle as he was thinking of the nights they'll spend together. Not in a place like a hospital... but it'll work out, like it always would.

 

 

"Any other words? No?"

 

 

"Nope" Dolores answered him, fretting slightly.

 

 

"Good. Nights full of sex it is then"

 

 

Kyle isn't really sure what was going on, or knew what actually happened the whole time Dan was around. But he was _really_ , _really_ sure it's going to be one hell of a one month for the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Notes on Chapter 3**
> 
> Yep, that's it... no flashbacks, only senseless humor. Haha, yeah.
> 
> Anyways, this is out of topic but America is literally exploding on my social media walls now, bashing me the fact that Trump won. It's really sad actually :/ I just wanna say to all my fellow american readers that this is not the end, literally :3

**Author's Note:**

> That cliffhanger though *wink* *wink*
> 
> I'll try not to make the same mistake I made to my first Work, 'FEELINGS', where I jumbled up the plot and well, I'll say it's a bit of an ass to write.
> 
> Other than that, please leave Kudos to show support for me! Thanks!


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